When I was digging into what other people's life is about, I found that there is a type of people whose meaning of life is oriented about helping others (altruism). I was a bit surprised how that can be a source of fulfillment as in a sense you are just giving and not having something in return. I thought what brings satisfaction is the act of meeting ownself needs, such as, being loved, respected, and in control.

That was until I've realized that we as humans build bonds between us in a way that can reach a level where what hurts others can hurt us as well. No wonder why parents put their lives at the edge to see their children flourish. Also, no wonder why couples sacrifice for each other in the name of love. It just hurts them when they see their lovers hurt and this is what I think is the optimal connection.

Life for some is about:

• I obey God and seek his mercy.
• I find myself when she touches me or he holds me.
• I live my life to the fullest, life is short.
• I work hard; my career fuels my house and soul.
• I drink to forget why am I here.
• I want to be the best of me: be healthy, pretty, and funny.
• I want you to look at me, I do exist.
• I want that degree, job, or house. That's it.
• I want to express myself and belong.
• I'm bored, entertain me.
• I just need to survive.
• Hey! I'm here for you, let me help.

Which one/s you can relate to?

There are a lot of things and habits that I wanted to do but struggled to find the time or keep myself motivated, like going to the gym or finishing a book. Recently, I developed a trick that worked for me and might work for you.

The essence behind the trick is simple, challenge yourself by doing the habit you want in an intensive way (daily) but in a short time (two weeks). For example, my first challenge was "14 days without internet" which was an eye-opener. I wrote about it here https://mohamedadil.com/the-nasty-drug.

The reason behind the high intensity and the short duration is to trick my mind that I'm capable of doing it daily so after the challenge ends, it will be easier to do it at a relaxed pace. Also, it will fit easily in my routine because I will be kinda used to it.

Another important thing, while experiencing this new habit, your body or mood will react accordingly. Track these changes by writing a summary each day. For example, when I started to track my progress of working out daily for 14 days, I noticed that my mood was at its best after the workout, my sleeping got better, my body couldn't run for long distances nor do more than 10 pushups at the beginning. I could literally see how my body is strengthening with time and that was a huge boost of motivation.

I don't know what happened in my life between the age of 22 and 27. I was pursuing materialistic goals and forgot about three things that I believe bring more satisfaction in life.

Finding your thing; the thing that you do regularly and feel fulfilled by doing it. Like mastering playing the flute, being a remarkable politician or a talented dancer.

Enjoying the little things, like an insightful movie, a tasty meal, a growing plant, a concert of your favorite artist, or simply looking at the full moon for a while (little things!).

Lastly and most importantly, relationships. The ones who brought you to this life love to hear your voice. Embrace a pleasant evening with your guys where you share your embarrassing stories. There must be a soul out there with whom you share your secrets boundlessly, find it.

Due to the imposed quarantine, I had to develop new routines in my life. Day 1, I was super optimistic, cooked a delicious meal, biked around new places, and so on. Day 2, I was surprised that I had to repeat what I did yesterday with slight changes. Day 3, doing nothing instead of laying in bed, thinking about my purpose in life!.

That is when I realized I was numbed for a long time with a nasty hidden drug, which is the internet (I didn't have it at that time). I'm not against it but using it to pass time and to escape other important things in life is just like taking a dose of cocaine, which serves the same purpose.

I learned from this experience that addiction is not related to the misuse of drugs but something more fundamental. It is linked to your basic needs both physical and mental (like the need for belonging). If they are not satisfied, your body gives you a sign (a pain, like in depression). Instead of numbing that pain through drugs or any sort of escaping addiction, identify what the need is, and work on it, maybe a kind listening friend is all you need.

I believe that the principles of running a business are not about making money, they are rather principles that help you reach your goals. Here are a few ideas that I borrow from the business world to pursue my life goals.

Vision & Goals​

As any company has a vision a oneself should have too. For me, it is oriented around career, relationships, and myself. These are my long-term goals.

Money & Time​

The short-term goals are inspired by the long-term ones and I set them at the beginning of each year with their budget and time as shown. If I don't do that they will be just something to dream about.

Productivity​

Defining a budget and time is not enough. They should be further divided into small achieveable tasks.

Error-log​

I’ve realized how fruitful the error log is in making a healthy company. So I have a sheet where I log my mistakes and achievements. This gives me a sense of the time I’m spending.

Marketing​

A personal blog is a great tool to market yourself. It gives you the window to express your interests and showcase your projects. My email me@mohamedadil.com always refer to this blog (marketing at no cost 😉)

At last, you don't have to make money to be a successful entrepreneur.

We as humans make mistakes; the life around us is so complex, that includes our own emotions. It is fine to make mistakes but what is not is these two things. First, sometimes, when we do something we don't think about what we did, so we keep making the same mistakes without even realizing (the worst case). The second thing, If we realize that there is something wrong with our behavior, which is sometimes very difficult to spot (blaming ourselves), we tend to not do something about it because of our ego.

We should reflect on our behavior, be neutral about whom to blame if we are the one to blame, lets attempt to fix it, a little 'sorry' can be enough.

I've come across an interesting TED talk that is titled "How not to take things personally?". Frederik, the speaker presents the answer in a simple elegant way. What causes the discomfort either has to do with you or with them. I will explain with a story.

Once upon a time, I had a crush on a girl who we usually play volleyball with. One day, I collected my courage and decided to have a chat with her to know her more beyond our small talks. What happens is she ignored my questions and disappeared. I felt a pain in my chest and asked myself: should I take it personally?

At first, I thought it was about me, I know that I'm not as good with girls as I'm with computers 😅 so I thought this is what caused that pain. Frederik recommends in this case to give yourself empathy and speak up your need.

Then, I thought again, maybe it is not about me, maybe she is going through a tough time, so I asked her if everything is alright? she opened up and started to tell me about how life is hitting hard on her.

It might be about you and your insecurities, or it might be about them and their needs. In both cases, life is too short to keep up with your ego, let it go.

After 9 months of hard work, I have defended my graduation thesis obtaining an MSc in Structural Engineering at Eindhoven University of Technology.

In my thesis, “Numerical methods in the analysis of geometrically non-linear structures” I have studied and compared different nonlinear approaches for solving geometrically nonlinear problems. The thesis has paved the way for my upcoming new project, which is a plugin for Grasshopper that features Static/Explicit/Implicit simulations with robust non-linear capabilities.

I would like to thank my supervisor, Akke Suiker for his generous support and all the people who help me throughout the journey.