I've come across an interesting TED talk that is titled "How not to take things personally?". Frederik, the speaker presents the answer in a simple elegant way. What causes the discomfort either has to do with you or with them. I will explain with a story.
Once upon a time, I had a crush on a girl who we usually play volleyball with. One day, I collected my courage and decided to have a chat with her to know her more beyond our small talks. What happens is she ignored my questions and disappeared. I felt a pain in my chest and asked myself: should I take it personally?
At first, I thought it was about me, I know that I'm not as good with girls as I'm with computers 😅 so I thought this is what caused that pain. Frederik recommends in this case to give yourself empathy and speak up your need.
Then, I thought again, maybe it is not about me, maybe she is going through a tough time, so I asked her if everything is alright? she opened up and started to tell me about how life is hitting hard on her.
It might be about you and your insecurities, or it might be about them and their needs. In both cases, life is too short to keep up with your ego, let it go.